Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Song Of The Day

Look over to your right and you will see the Song Of The Day. I intend to update this everyday, except on the weekends, with songs that you have hopefully not heard or bands that you have not heard of. I will also leave up the Song Of Yesterday just in case you miss it. Stay Tunes.

The 10 Commandments Guidelines of Concert Behavior

VIII.Thou Shalt Not Sing Along Unless Explicitly Directed by the Performer(s)

Fact is, no one paid to hear your interpretations of these songs, even if you are convinced that your vocal performance is a vast improvement over the original. Even if you sang in your high school's choir both years they went to the state competition. I think pretty much everyone can agree that Tunde Adebimpe has some great pipes. But I don't care if a vocalist can't carry a tune in a bucket. Leonard Cohen has openly admitted to having the vocal range of a doorbell, but I'd still much rather listen to him croak his way through Chelsea Motel than your pitch-perfect rendition.

But don't worry, there are plenty of opportunities each and every day for you to test your singing chops, even if you aren't a professional performer. Warm up with a few numbers in the shower, and once you're limber, really cut loose during your commutes. Sing to your kids instead of screaming at them. Sing to your co-workers and/or classmates if you must. Find a nice karaoke bar and wrestle the mic away from the 300-pound bearded actuary whose not-so-secret dream is to play Maria in a Broadway revival of West Side Story. If that still doesn't satiate you, by all means, head down to the mall to be discovered the next time American Idol comes to town.

Unfortunately, we pretty much have to throw this rule out the window if the performer dips a toe into the singalong pool. I've never understood why I would pay to watch someone perform, then actively participate. I realize the singalong plays an important role in the oral tradition of most cultures. But when I shell out $100 for a ticket, $10 for parking and $8 for a poor imitation of a respectable cocktail, not even Alhaji Papa Susso himself would expect me lift a finger.


Previous Guidelines:
I. Thou Shalt Not Puke
II. Thou Shalt Not Fart
III. Thou Shalt Not Smoke
IV. Thou Shalt Not Take Crappy Pictures With Your Cell Phone
V. Thou Shall Show Up On Time
VI. Thou Shalt Not Request Songs
VII. Thou Shall Respect The Personal Space of Others

Monday, September 29, 2008

VEEP Debate

With one debate down all eyes are on St. Louis for the Vice Presidential Debate scheduled for this Thursday. I believe that this one will be far less predictable then the debate last Friday. Both camps are going to want to keep a tight leash on their kids; Biden has the bad habit of speaking his mind to freely and Palin has no mind to speak of (was that out loud?). They both get defensive when cornered and each one handles this in a different way. Biden gets confrontational which could make him come across as a hot head and Palin stammers and fidgets making her look unprepared and inexperienced. My prediction is that this will be the first silent debate, both candidates will be instructed by their council to not say more than needed and if they adhere to that the whole night will be filled with yes and no answers.

Friday, September 26, 2008

McCain Campaign Stunt Suggestions

At the risk of never being invited to another family function again I am going to post Slates predictions on McCain's next big campaign stunts.

My personal favorite is #9
  1. Return to Vietnam and jail himself
  2. Offers the post of "vice vice president" to Warren Buffet
  3. Challenges Obama to suspend campaign so they both can go and personally drill for offshore oil
  4. Learns to use computer
  5. Does bombing run over Taliban-controlled tribal areas of Pakistan
  6. Offers to forgo salary, sell one house
  7. Sex-change operation
  8. Suspends campaign until Nov. 4th, offers to start being president right now
  9. Sells Alaska to Russia for $700 billion
  10. Pledges to serve only one term. OK, half a term

CD Release Dates

I rather enjoy keeping up with what CD's are being release each Tuesday. So I have finally found a website that has a fairly inclusive list of each weeks releases as well as which ones have changed their release dates. You can find it Here

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Shot In The Dark

In a Forbes article from the 23rd concerning the Paulson Plan you can find this little gem that should give you some confidence.
...some of the most basic details, including the $700 billion figure Treasury would use to buy up bad debt are fuzzy.

"It's not based on a particular data point," a Treasury spokeswoman told Forbes.com Tuesday. "We just wanted to choose a really large number."

Well I feel a whole hell of a lot better.

Punchline

Video shot at 1000 frames per second with a twist at the end

I Don't Need No College Edumacation

Here is an interview with Charles Murray author of the recently released book Real Education. In the book he argues that we need to do away with Bachelor of Arts degrees since 80% of people are unable to understand what is being taught anyway. Instead he suggests that those 80% go to trade school.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

SNL

Saturday Night Live has had trouble in recent years coming up with characters and skits that are as memorable as when they had the likes of Chevy Chase, John Belushi and Steve Martin. There have been some shining moments though such as the The Chronicles of Narnia rap and the More Cowbell skit. This video will also go down as one of the greats, I laughed so hard I nearly wet myself.

Sorry, the embed code doesn't work so I had to link to it instead.

Friday, September 19, 2008

New James Bond Theme Song

The theme song for the new James Bond movie is now available to stream. I must say that I am pleasantly surprised considering that I have never been a big fan of the White Stripes, but I like The Racontuers, go figure.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Bonehead Play

I can't let this one pass by, this will go down as the biggest bonehead play of the year and we are only into week #2.

DeSean Jackson pitches the ball backwards before he crosses the goal line; this is a stupid move which, if it was anyone else, we could overlook as a rookie mistake except for the fact that he did a very similar thing in the High School All American game.

My favorite quote on this is from Jason Whitlock with Fox Sports who said "someone with the Eagles needs to go Steve Smith on him"



As a side note this also goes back to this post. Twice in one week a ref blew the whistle prematurely and changed the outcome of a game. In this one it should have been considered a fumble where Dallas could recover but since the whistle was blown Philly got the ball on the 1 yard line.

Arrgh Matey's

Tomorrow is International Talk Like A Pirate Day. To help you out here is some basic vocabulary.

Beauty – The best possible pirate address for a woman. Always preceded by “me,” as in, “C’mere, me beauty,” or even, “me buxom beauty,” to one particularly well endowed. You’ll be surprised how effective this is.

Bilge rat – The bilge is the lowest level of the ship. It’s loaded with ballast and slimy, reeking water. A bilge rat, then, is a rat that lives in the worst place on the ship. On TLAP Day – A lot of guy humor involves insulting your buddies to prove your friendship. It’s important that everyone understand you are smarter, more powerful and much luckier with the wenches than they are. Since bilge rat is a pretty dirty thing to call someone, by all means use it on your friends.

Bung hole – Victuals on a ship were stored in wooden casks. The stopper in the barrel is called the bung, and the hole is called the bung hole. That’s all. It sounds a lot worse, doesn’t it? On TLAP Day – When dinner is served you’ll make quite an impression when you say, “Well, me hearties, let’s see what crawled out of the bung hole.” That statement will be instantly followed by the sound of people putting down their utensils and pushing themselves away from the table. Great! More for you!

Grog – An alcoholic drink, usually rum diluted with water, but in this context you could use it to refer to any alcoholic beverage other than beer, and we aren’t prepared to be picky about that, either. Call your beer grog if you want. We won’t stop you! Water aboard ship was stored for long periods in slimy wooden barrels, so you can see why rum was added to each sailor’s water ration – to kill the rancid taste. On TLAP Day – Drink up, me hearties! And call whatever you’re drinking grog if you want to. If some prissy pedant purses his lips and protests the word grog can only be used if drinking rum and water, not the Singapore Sling you’re holding, keelhaul him!

Lubber – (or land lubber) This is the seaman’s version of land lover, mangled by typical pirate disregard for elocution. A lubber is someone who does not go to sea, who stays on the land. On TLAP Day – More likely than not, you are a lubber 364 days of the year. But not if you’re talking like a pirate! Then the word lubber becomes one of the more fierce weapons in your arsenal of piratical lingo. In a room where everyone is talking like pirates, lubber is ALWAYS an insult.

Smartly – Do something quickly. On TLAP Day “Smartly, me lass,” you might say when sending the bar maid off for another round. She will be so impressed she might well spit in your beer.

The 10 Commandments Guidelines of Concert Behavior

VII. Thou Shall Respect The Personal Space of Others
Sure, I get it. Music has an uncanny ability to stir the soul and move the spirit. I'm fine with that right up to the point where the spirit rolls up on my knee like a 370lb lineman. Don't get me wrong, I love watching your crazy dances; they're often as entertaining as the show, but SRO is just that. Sometimes dancing is just logistically impossible, especially when we're packed in like the Middle Passage and struggling to breathe.

Allow me to drop a scholarly name on you, evolutionary biologist, W.D. Hamilton. This cat delivered a paper in 1971 entitled Geometry For The Selfish Herd, in which he theorized that, when faced with danger, each group member attempts to reduce the danger to itself by getting as close as possible to the center of the group. Is a Ting Tings show really that scary? Why, then, do people enter a sparsely populated venue and feel compelled to stand within an arm's length of me, or better yet, right in my sight line? I wish Hamilton was still alive, because I'd ask him why men taller than 6'2" are compelled to stand in front of my 5'1" ladyfriend.

What else is uncool? Glad you asked. Waving your lit cigarette around, either in conjunction with dancing, or just to emphasize a point. Pushing your way through people in the absence of some variety of "excuse me." Bringing a huge backpack or purse into a show. I'm sure you have quality stories to share, because the list of crimes against proximity at concerts is infinite.

Exceptions: Mosh Pits -if there is a mosh pit, the rules surrounding proximity get more than a little fuzzy.

Previous Guidelines:
I. Thou Shalt Not Puke
II. Thou Shalt Not Fart
III. Thou Shalt Not Smoke
IV. Thou Shalt Not Take Crappy Pictures With Your Cell Phone
V. Thou Shall Show Up On Time
VI. Thou Shalt Not Request Songs

Monday, September 15, 2008

Hochuli's Bad Call

If you are a Charger's fan you are probably having a hard time getting out of bed this morning and if you are a Bronco's fan you are probably still wiping the sweat from your brow knowing that you cheated death. For those of you who didn't see the game last night here is a brief article about what happened. I am still a little unclear as to the rules exactly but no matter what Hochuli says I still believe this is a "whistle issue". If it was in fact an incomplete pass, as it was called to be, then the ball should have gone back to the 2 yard line but if it was a fumble and recovered by Denver then it should have been placed on the 10. It seems that they were mixing rules to cover themselves. The bottom line is that there is nothing that the NFL can do about it now; they can't say well San Diego, if you had recovered the fumble Rivers wouldn't have thrown an interception and Sproles wouldn't have fumbled therefore you are the winners. Under the circumstances Hochuli did make right call after he screwed the pooch by calling the play dead with an "incomplete pass" before the ball even hit the ground. No amount of apologizing from Ed Hochuli to Norv Turner will make up for this one.

Friday, September 12, 2008

When I Fell Off the Band Wagon

With the release of Metallica's 9th studio album Death Magnetic I started reminiscing about when, why and how I started listening to Metallica. This is what I came up with.

The first LP that I ever bought was Ride The Lightning. I rode my bike to Target, bought the album, rode home and promptly put the cassette in my sock drawer so that my parents wouldn't find it. From then on I was hooked, I listened to that album over and over again and of course found ways to get money to purchase the other albums, keep in mind I was probably 12, not much gainful employment at that age. That would have been around '91 or '92 so I didn't start listening until after Black had been released and for all I knew they weren't going to release anything else since there was a 5 year hiatus between Black and Load. Once it was announced that they had a forth coming album I was stoked, I was sure to be home every night for the local radio station's "Mandatory Metallica" segment where they would play a number of old songs and a few of the new tracks.

I must say that I was shocked when I started seeing pictures of them turn up in magazines, before the release of Load, all clean cut. To me these guys were the face of heavy metal as I knew it and now they looked like any other guy you might see walking down the street.

I was never very thrilled with Load, it didn't possess the hard riffs that I loved or looked forward to. The lyrics seemed forced and not with the same thoughtfulness from the previous albums.

In the end, the final straw for me was when Jason Newsted was replaced with Robert Trujillo due to Newsted wanting to work with his side project which Metallica thought would take away from the band. It was that and getting over 300,000 users banned from Napster when I realized that they no longer were in it for the enjoyment of making music, it was now all about the money.

I Guess I Can't Be VP

We have all become sick by now of the excuse that Palin has foreign policy experience because she can "see" Russia from an island in Alaska. Michael Tomasky breaks this argument down.

I can't be VP because I live 5,923.3 miles from Moscow.

Speed Skateboarding

These guys are truly insane. The two things that make this video beyond cool is that they are riding long boards and are wearing blue suits, and when I say suits I don't mean lycra I mean leisure. The good stuff starts at 2:20.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

10 Things You Didn't Know About The Earth

Discover Magazine has put together a list of things that you don't know about the Earth. I'll give you the run down and you can read the specifics on your own time.

1. The Earth is smoother than a billiard ball
2. The Earth is an oblate spheroid
3. The Earth isn't a oblate spheroid
4. The Earth is not exactly aligned with it's geoid
5. Jumping into a hole through the center of the Earth is like orbiting it
6. The Earth's interior is hot due to impacts, shrinkage, sinkage, and radioactive decay
7. The Earth has at least five natural moons. But not really
8. The Earth is getting more massive
9. Mt. Everest isn't the biggest mountain
10. Destroying the Earth is hard

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Guest Blogger: "August Filet Chimes in on the Prairieman Triathlon"

August Filet has a couple of remarks concerning the Prairieman Triathlon last Sunday. It's a long one but well worth the read.

If our intrepid blogger won’t gloat, then I will gloat in his place. Mr. Tuesday Pants, aka PW, aka Manuel (don’t ask) scored third place in his age group in the Prairieman Sprint Triathlon last Sunday. Congratulations, fair sir. And for those who would believe that a sprint triathlon is simply a 90-minute workout (or an 81-minute workout in this case), I submit for your approval:

--A 500 meter swim is essentially a 10-minute mass fistfight between 100 blindfolded jocks. I’ve heard the expression “a washing machine of arms and legs,” but that does not communicate the unintentional violence of the thing. Elbows crack heads, feet kick faces, bodies struggle over other bodies. In one case I distinctly felt a hand grab my shin from underneath me. I’ve started calling that my The Lady of the Lake moment and until now have no credible scientific theory to explain it. But if you participated in the Prairieman last week, and if you happen to be reading this, and if I simply swam right over you … my apologies. You see, it’s hard to see: swimming goggles stay permanently and impenetrably fogged until they are kicked outright from your face. Until then, in this brown-green lake water, that strange, orange, fuzzy thing in front of you might be your extended arm, or might be a competitor’s jersey.

--The first transition is a wet quarter-mile barefoot run up a boat ramp and across a parking lot. Sure, you can wear “tri shoes” but that would mean you would have to, you know? Swim in them? Even the retailers don’t recommend swimming in your swim shoes. And there is so much to remember in such a short period of time that you are sure to forget something: your Vaseline? Your Cliff bar? Your race number? One thing the race production will not let you forget is your helmet, which along with your road bike has already been inspected twice in 48 hours.

--The 16 mile bike ride is one of the most grueling 1-hour workouts imaginable, except for those that are preceded by the 10-minute water brawl. Race production marks your right calf with your age, and there is little as disheartening as watching those numbers get bigger as other riders pass. First the ankle-biters, then the thirty-somethings, then the retirees, then the geriatrics. Then your entire crotch goes numb from the impaired blood circulation and only then does a friend pass you, saying “Seven miles to go!” When there is really only about 4.

-- The second transition finds you losing a cycling shoe, or crashing into a Port-a-John, or simply daydreaming about food. By this point you have burned nearly 1,000 calories, which a beginning runner will go through in his first 10k, and your run hasn’t even started yet. So while that plate of pasta the night before may have seemed excessive, you’re already working on a 200 calorie deficit and haven’t strapped on your Nikes. And on the subject of shoes, why am I only wearing one again?

-- During the 5k run – while your blood sugar readjusts and the circulation returns to your legs – there is still the issue of glycogen. In short: you don’t have any. Yet you need it for short-term muscle function, which might explain the exceedingly odd sensation of your bones doing all the work. The pounding doesn’t hurt like it does during training, which you refuse to accept as a bad sign. You pass a few people, and now pass a few more. OK, we’re good. Now it seems the training has paid off. You pass a couple more. Take that! Mr. 22 Years Old! A quick check to the watch, surely you’re more than half-way through this thing. But what’s that? Wait! Wait! Ein minutem bitte! That’s the one mile sign about 200 yards up. Oh, the humanity!



Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Post Mortem Releases

Having an artist release an album of new material after they have died is really creepy. I touch on this point only because Mitch Hedberg released a new album today and he has been dead for 3 years. I've got no problem with tributes or Best Of albums but when it's all new material that just starts messing with your head and gets you thinking that they aren't really dead and are going to do a "I'm Not Dead" tour and all the while they've been "dead" they've been writing killer songs up in a cabin in the Himalayas while meditating with the Dalai Lama.

See, It messes with your head.

New Poll

Look to your right, a little further, a little further, oh come back a little bit, right there. You see that I have posted a new poll. This was a question that was brought up during a pregame show on Sunday. For those of you not caught up, each time there is a hurricane the Saints have to pack up and move somewhere else to practice and the stadium has to be cleaned a prepped for the next game. I'm not sure who pays for all of this, I would assume that it is the team and not the NFL.

The thing that always gets on my wick is that the team receives a triumphant return and the commentators go on and on about how the team is the heart of this city that has had such a hard time. There are only so many times that you can hear this before you say "Stop being stupid and move."

Monday, September 8, 2008

Couture vs. Lesnar

UFC's president, Dana White, announced last week that UFC 91 on November 15th will be between Randy Couture, the reigning Heavyweight Champion, versus Brock Lesnar. Couture, unarguably the most well known MMA fighter in the world, is fresh off a 9 month legal battle with Zuffa and at age 45 is looking to step inside the octagon once again to defend his title. I have a number of problems with this arranged fight; Lesnar has only 3 MMA fights and only two with the UFC, a loss to Frank Mir by submission and a win against Heath Herring that went the full three rounds. There is really very little known about Lesnar's fighting ability other then he packs a punch and relies on that as his only real weapon. He won the 2000 NCAA World Championship in wrestling and has a couple of titles in the WWE, which we all know means nothing in the real world of MMA. Lesnar also doesn't have the maturity to be in the UFC either; this was clearly shown when at the sound of the final bell in the Heath Herring fight Lesnar jumped up and started pointing and laughing at him even though Lesnar was unable to finish the fight after a first round punch that left Herring dazed for the remaining two rounds.

Couture has nothing really to gain from this fight but has everything to lose. He is a three time Heavyweight Champion with the UFC and is one of the most respected fighters of all time.
Can Couture win this fight? Sure he can, but he will have to avoid going toe-to-toe and boxing it out, this guy hits like a Mack Truck. Ground and pound is probably his best option even with Lesnar's experience as a wrestler I haven't seen anything from him that proves he really knows how to wrestle with skill instead of just brute force.

The winner of this fight will go on to face the winner of the Nogueira vs. Mir fight on December 27th.

The 10 Commandments Guidelines of Concert Behavior

VI. Thou Shalt Not Request Songs
Sorry folks, the music biz has changed. Gone are the days of Springsteen's bladder-bursting 4-hour shows and The Replacements swapping instruments to bumble through Bad Company covers. Touring is expensive and promoters are cramming more bands on bills in an attempt to sell tickets, which means tighter schedules and shorter sets. 99.9% of bands are working off setlists because time is money. Lighting and effects. Alternate tunings. Sequencers and samples. Even stage banter is meticulously planned out ahead of time to maximize presentation of the product. And speaking of product, don't think the record companies don’t have an interest in what songs their bands perform live. Bottom line? You can yell your head off, but if it's not already on the setlist, forget it. Which reminds me. If an artist asks an audience what they want to hear, they're just waiting to hear the title of the next tune on their list. You know that, don't you?

What's wrong with letting musicians decide which songs to play? It's their material, let them present it as they wish. Do you toss out requests at the symphony? At a play? At church? What would you rather hear? An inspired version of a song you've never been terribly fond of, or a half-assed version of a favorite? And one more thing, when a musician changes bands, don't expect them to revisit the good ol' days. If you're going to a Wilco show and planning on screaming for Graveyard Shift and Punch Drunk until you're lightheaded, do us all a favor; just stay home and listen to the Uncle Tupelo records.

Note to the guy still yelling for Free Bird at every concert: Stop.



Previous Guidelines:
I. Thou Shalt Not Puke
II. Thou Shalt Not Fart
III. Thou Shalt Not Smoke
IV. Thou Shalt Not Take Crappy Pictures With Your Cell Phone
V. Thou Shall Show Up On Time

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Women in Politics

There is something egregiously unattractive about women in politics. No, I'm not saying that Sarah Palin is not an attractive women and I'm not limiting it to her alone, nor am I saying that they shouldn't be in or can't handle politics. But it is unappetizing to see a women in front of a crowd of supports and talk trash about an opponent. Men do it day in and day out, that is what men do, they bicker and argue, point fingers and call names. As a nation I think that we hold women to a higher standard to rise above these petty arguments and cheap tricks and be the voice of reason in a political system that is based on who can dig up the dirtiest tidbits about their opponent. Politics is an occupation that is unbecoming of a women. It forces them into a position where they have to lie or at the very least exaggerate the truth in order to accomplish their goal.

That is my soapbox for the day.

If you are looking for the truth about what all these crazy politicians are saying about each other check out this site. It doesn't appear to side with the right or left and has a gauge as to how much of a lie statements or attacks are.



Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Rules of Rock (The Finale)

Today is the final installment of my rules of rock. Some of you may be saying that music is suppose to be free spirited to let artist go where the music takes them; trust me, there are some places that music is not supposed to go for good reason.

X. Be Yourself - There isn't a band out there that annoys me more than Good Charlotte. By the looks of them you would think, at the very least, they play some hardcore thrash punk but when you hear Life Styles of the Rich and Famous you think that they radio mistakenly played a different song then they said they were going to and instead played a flavor of the month pop punk band. For the love of Pete (whoever Pete is), it is your life experiences that influence the songs that you write. There is no shame in finding out that the lead singer of some of your favorite punk bands is a PhD candidate (Dexter Holland of Offspring) or has a loving wife and kids at home (Jim Lindberg of Pennywise). You'll get a lot further in life not trying to put on a facade for your musical life.

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Songs That Make You Well Up

We all have a song or two that pull at our heart strings. I'm not talking about hymnals; those are designed to arouse emotions of every kind from love and adoration to guilt, nor am I talking about patriotic songs that you hear during the airing of the PBS Memorial Day Special. I'm talking about secular songs that you hear while not in any special setting, just driving in your car. My personal one is Blue October's - Hate Me. Now when you're done laughing, take a listen to it and see if it doesn't rip your heart out.

Rules of Rock

IX. Live Album Rule - Don't let the audience sing a part of the song or even worse set up the microphones so that the audience is heard throughout the entire concert (i.e. Dashboard Confessional - Mtv Unplugged). Don't get me wrong, I am probably the loudest singer out there when I am at a show. I'm not asking you not to sing at a concert, I don't think that it's possible to not want to sing along with the band that you have deemed worthy of spending an insane amount of money on tickets, service charges, parking, gas and your precious time. But I have paid good money to hear the band that I have deemed worthy sing the songs that I have deemed worthy, not 10,000 screaming out of tune fans.