It's been a tough day at work today so for my last 30 minutes I am going to reminisce about what it is I would liked to have done with my life other than construction. Usually during these brain storming sessions I think completely irrationally and come up with occupations that don't even really exist and usually involve me doing nothing at all but getting paid for it like Couch Cushion Comfortability Technician or Ergonomic Recliner Engineer. But today I had an occupation dropped in my lap that I had never thought of and that would be to become an evil overlord. I have been thinking of this because of this list that I found of the the 100 things to do in order to be a successful overlord. My favorites out of the list so far are:
8. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three week's time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.
31. All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcements and/or romantic sub-plot for the hero or his side-kick.
52. I will hire a team of board certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.
67. No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full scale emergency.
81. If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizically turning around to find out what he saw.
There are many more good tips on the list for your perusal. But who am I kidding I'm nearly 30 years old, it's too late for me to make a change in occupation like that and now with this list out there for the masses I'm sure that the market will be flooded soon.
2 comments:
I think that sounds like a fun career choice. However you might want to skip the kidnap the princess and force her to marry you. I think that it might make Kati mad and lets face it Kati is the best thing out there for you so why mess with a good thing. :-)
oh - I do like the duck comment, you would think people would learn that by now
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