Fact is, no one paid to hear your interpretations of these songs, even if you are convinced that your vocal performance is a vast improvement over the original. Even if you sang in your high school's choir both years they went to the state competition. I think pretty much everyone can agree that Tunde Adebimpe has some great pipes. But I don't care if a vocalist can't carry a tune in a bucket. Leonard Cohen has openly admitted to having the vocal range of a doorbell, but I'd still much rather listen to him croak his way through Chelsea Motel than your pitch-perfect rendition.Previous Guidelines:
But don't worry, there are plenty of opportunities each and every day for you to test your singing chops, even if you aren't a professional performer. Warm up with a few numbers in the shower, and once you're limber, really cut loose during your commutes. Sing to your kids instead of screaming at them. Sing to your co-workers and/or classmates if you must. Find a nice karaoke bar and wrestle the mic away from the 300-pound bearded actuary whose not-so-secret dream is to play Maria in a Broadway revival of West Side Story. If that still doesn't satiate you, by all means, head down to the mall to be discovered the next time American Idol comes to town.
Unfortunately, we pretty much have to throw this rule out the window if the performer dips a toe into the singalong pool. I've never understood why I would pay to watch someone perform, then actively participate. I realize the singalong plays an important role in the oral tradition of most cultures. But when I shell out $100 for a ticket, $10 for parking and $8 for a poor imitation of a respectable cocktail, not even Alhaji Papa Susso himself would expect me lift a finger.
I. Thou Shalt Not Puke
II. Thou Shalt Not Fart
III. Thou Shalt Not Smoke
IV. Thou Shalt Not Take Crappy Pictures With Your Cell Phone
V. Thou Shall Show Up On Time
VI. Thou Shalt Not Request Songs
VII. Thou Shall Respect The Personal Space of Others
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