Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Muffins

Rarely ever do I look for recipes and from those rare times it's ever more rare that I find something that actually makes me want to don an apron and bust out the wisk. But in the August edition of Triathlete Magazine there is a recipe for Pumpkin Chocolate Chip Muffins from Andy Potts. I have no idea what the nutritional informaton is for these but they are so stinkin' good who cares.

Ingredients
4 eggs
1 1/2 cups vegetable oil
1 1/2 cups sugar
14 ounces pumpkin pie filling
3 cups flour
1 tablespoon cinnamon
2 teaspoons baking soda
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
2 cups chocolate chips

Each batch makes about 30 muffins.

I have cooked this with the oil and am cooking them right now with the oil substituted with sugar-free apple sauce (yes, this was a request from Kati). I also find that miniture chocolate chips work best.

Directions
Preheat oven to 400 degrees.
Mix together the eggs, vegetable oil, sugar and pumpkin pie filling. In a seperate bowl, combine the flour, cinnamon, baking soda, salt and baking power. Add the flour mixture to wet ingredients. Add chocolate chips. Spray muffin tin with cooking spray Spoon the batter into the muffin tin and bake for 15 minutes.

I find that these are much better warm, so I throw them in the microwave for 15 seconds per muffin to melt the chocolate. Delicious.

Look At The Bones!

Last night marked the annual Glutton-Fest that coincides with my birthday each year. Glutton-Fest is a grotesque display of manhood, one might even say a right of passage to be accepted into the Stoddard household. The way that it works is Jonathan, Darin and I see how many teriyaki chicken wings we can eat. This annual event started out innocent enough many years ago, I simply just loved the chicken wings that mom made. So each year mom would purchase one family size package of chicken wings (I'm not sure how many pounds in one package). Now it has turned into her buying 12lbs each years just for the three of us. You would think that 12lbs would be enough that we ate until everyone said "Uncle" and the last person standing was the winner for the year, but no, the 12lbs don't last long and the whole charade turns into a display of a speed race rather than endurance.

There are a few rules to this madness though.

1. You can't fill your plate with all the chicken wings right off the bat.
   
2. You can only take a reasonable number of wings with each refill.
3. You cannot refill your plate until you have eaten everything that is already there.
4. When we start getting low on wings you can only take one at a time.

Each person has their own strategy. Jonathan likes to start out with the wing and not the drumstick. There is less meat on the wing but it is a more precarious piece that takes more effort to get all the meat off. The drumstick is easier to eat but there is more meat to get off before you can move onto the next one. So it ends up being six of one and a half dozen of the other. You have to come in with a plan and stick to it.

My plan this year was to come in with more speed. The problem with this plan is that there is a fine line between a good speed and just being rude and disgusting, there are other people around the table trying to eat after all.

(The carnage begins)

After the dust had cleared and the tray was empty, the counting began. Darin was done first and called out 36 wings consumed. I went next and to my dismay had come up two wings short at 34. Jonathan didn't bring his A game this year and came in a distant third with 25 wings.

(I look forward to this day more than any other each year)

There are a few people that without them this event would never go down. So let's thanks our sponsors.

• Mom - she does the brunt of the work, she has to buy the wings, skin them and make the marinade. There were 95 wings this year that had to be skinned.
• Dad - he mans the grill and makes sure that no wings slip through the cracks
• Kati - I'm just surprised that she even comes to Sunday dinner on this night, that's gotta be worth something.

Long live Darin the King of Glutton-Fest!

One of These Days...

One of these days I will learn to...

• Roll down my car windows in a Texas summer. For those of you not in Texas, when the heat index is in the triple digits and you climb into a car that has been sitting in the sun for 8 hours the heat is suffocating.
  
• Make sure the upper cabinet door is closed before I stand up while putting away dishes. The cabinet where we have our pots and pans is in the perfect position that if you kneel down to put some pots away and the upper cabinet door is open it will nail you in the head with the corner at the apex of your thrust to stand and this will bring a tear to your eye.
• My toes are cursed, protect them at all costs. I won't post the gory pictures here, see me later if you are really that interested.
• Walk down all the aisles at the grocery store no matter how many items I have on my list. As a man I think that I can save time by B lining it to the exact location where the item I need is and as a man I am wrong most of the time.
• Keep my car keys in my pocket while getting into the trunk. My car won't unlock the doors if I only open the trunk so if I'm in a hurry I open the trunk, throw my keys down, do what I need to do, slam the trunk closed and then curse. I've had to get Kati to come bail me out of this one too many times. Sorry Dear.
  
• It is not cheaper for me to go out to lunch with a coupon because I still have to supplement the rest of the meal. My latest reminder of this is now that Arby's does free something or other on Wednesday's, I went and got the free sandwich with the drink purchase and still didn't get out of there under $8. Supplementing don't ya know.
  

SB488

Let me start off by saying this has nothing to do with bipartisanship.

Saturday was a sad day in Texas for cyclist as Gov. Perry vetoed Senate Bill 488 (aka The Safe Passing Bill). This bill would have made it law for any motor vehicle to give three feet of space between a cyclist and a vehicle while passing. The kicker is that this bill was not designed around cyclists but included runners, pedestrians, motorcyclists, children and highway construction and maintenance workers. With how much emphasis Texas puts on the safety of highway construction workers I would have thought that alone would push the bill through. This after two competitive cyclists were killed in Tulsa OK just a few weeks ago when they were hit by a drunk driver.

I can't tell you how many times I have gotten honked and yelled at for riding in a lane of traffic that I am well within my legal rights to be in. I have had many close calls from drivers that I can only assume were trying to give me a fright. Cyclists are no different than drivers in mentality, some of them are jerks that run stop signs and stop lights while many of them obey the rules of the road and are just out to have a good ride.

There are over 1,000 cyclists killed each year from being hit by a car in Texas. While I have been lucky enough to have never been struck by a car I do have a good friend that has. He was struck from behind by a car going 70mph. While he did escape with his life he suffered a broken back and has never fully recovered to be able to go back to the active life style he was used to.

Even though this bill was not passed, please give us room. On windy days that full lane is very needed commodity as between my bike and myself we come in well under 200 pounds and a gust of wind can change my path very quickly.

You can read the bill here.
The veto reason here.
Texas cycling laws here.

RunPee.com

I love watching movies. I would rather sit down to a bad movie then a good book when push comes to shove (Kati thinks I'm insane for some of the bad movies that I have sat through). I figure that if a book is really that good it will be made into a movie eventually anyway so why waste many hours on the couch reading when I can wait for the abridged 2 hour version in motion picture form?

But if you're like me, when you go to the theater, you sneak in a 20oz. soda with you as to not have to pay the outrageous prices at the concession stands. The idea is to try and make the aforementioned soda last the duration of the movie for two purposes. First, so that you have something to wash down the Hot Tamales that you also snuck into the theater and second, you think that if you drink the soda slowly then you will be able to last the entire movie without having to escape to the john. This second purpose, no matter how noble, never works. Soda has some strange chemical in it that somehow doubles the quantity swallowed when it hits your stomach. Don't ask me how, but trust me I've seen studies.

Now you're left with the dilemma of "When can I make a run for the loo?". If you had read the book prior to seeing the movie you might have a pretty good idea of when you can escape since you know, within reason, what is going to happen next. But if you know what's going to happen next then why did you just pay $10 to see the movie. That's like having someone tell you they are going to punch you in the snot box and then paying them to do so. But I digress. Back to the original question "When can I make a run for the WC without missing a key element of the plot?". Enter RunPee.com, where you can find the exact amount of time into a movie you can make a run for the can. The beauty of this it that it does so without ruining the movie. Example, if I wanted to know when to hit the head during the movie Up, I know that I could go at approximately 30 minutes in "when the doberman and the bulldog appear out of the bushes." No spoiler there. Although there is a little spoiler that can be unscrambled if you really need to know how long until you can go.

The other benefit that I have found to this website is that it is a great tell as to whether a movie is really worth your time at all. The more pee breaks you have the more likely that it's not. For example Drag Me To Hell and Star Trek each have six pee breaks, that equals down time or no progress in the plot and that's bad. But you can't use this as a fail safe plan since Hannah Montana: The Movie only shows one pee break point, the reason is that the entire movie is one long pee break, you're not going to miss anything by missing a minute or an hour of this movie.

So rest well knowing that someone out there is looking out for the little man.

Capital of Texas Triathlon Recap

The Capital of Texas Triathlon was this past weekend down in Austin, of course. This was an Olympic Distance triathlon consisting of a 1500 meter open water swim (0.94 miles), 40K bike (24.9 miles) and a 10K run (6.4 miles). I had three goals going into this race 1) finish the swim in under 30 minutes 2) finish the race in under 2:40:00 and 3) do the run with an average min/mile of below 8:00 per mile. Here's the breakdown of how the race went:

The Swim
1500 meters - 26:55 - goal met!
The swim took place in Lady Bird Lake and with the water temperature at 68 degrees it was wet suit legal and the wet suit was very nice to have. This was by far the best swim that I have ever raced. This was partially due to the fact that a majority of the swim was with the slow current but there were also spots that were against the current at the beginning and the very end so I like to think that it all evened out in the end. The other nice part was that I didn't get kicked in the head once, seriously, not once. It was a clean swim with very little contact from beginning to end.

T1
4:29
The first transition went rather smoothly considering that this was the first time that I have swam in a wetsuit that there wasn't a stripper in transition to help you get the wetsuit off. Luckily this didn't really end up taking too much time. The worst part about the first transition was that you had to run about 200 yards before you could get on your bike. They won't let you mount your bike and ride out of transition, you have to leave the transition area before you mount but with this race you also had to run up a sidewalk and around a corner. Ridiculous.

The Bike
40K - 1:10:27 - 21.1mph average
This was a super fast bike course, it consisted of 4 loops of a 6-mile route that went up by the Capital Building. There were only two hills and though they were a little steep (both varying between 7-12% inclines) they were also very short. Leading up to the bike course I was not very excited about sharing a 6-mile loop with 1300 other racers and was a little worried that it would get too crowded and would slow me down but that was not really the case. You definitely had to be more attentive at the turns to who was around you so that you wouldn't take a turn to wide and run into someone but other than that most people followed the cycling rules and etiquette. The one problem with this course was that it was so fast. I am weak for a fast course, once I start going fast I want to keep going fast in order to turn out with a solid bike time. This was my downfall at the LoneStar and ended up being my downfall here as well. Although I held back a little it wasn't enough for the run that was quickly approaching.

T2
2:28
Nothing special about T2 to speak of. The actual changing of shoes was quick and most of the time was spent getting out of transition. It was another long run out before you actually were "on course".

The Run
10K - 52:56 - 8:31min/miles
This is where the wheels came off. I was having a spectacular day and knew that I would probably be coming in with a personal best time on a race of this distance. My initial intention was to run the first 5K lap at about an 8:05min/mi and the second lap at somewhere between a 7:30-7:45 min/mi. I had successfully done this on training days after a ride of the race distance but did not count on the heat being a problem. On the bike the heat is not very noticeable until you stop but on the run it is constantly beating down on you from above and reflecting off the concrete below. It also didn't help that most of this run was rather exposed with not much shade to be found. There were plenty of rest station where you could grab a cup of ice water to dunk on your head but even that only last so long. I gave up on the goal of sub 8:00 min/miles pretty quick and just wanted to get off the run and out of the heat.

The Final Tally
Swim-26:55
T1-4:29
Bike-1:10:27
T2-2:28
Run-52:56

Total-2:37:17

In the end I met 2 of my 3 goals. I got out of the water fast and finished in a sub 2:40:00 time. 2 out of 3 ain't bad.

Here are my ranking overall (the goal here is to beat half the entrants):
Overall Place 299/1327
Gender Place 259/859
Division Place (Male 30-34) 48/157

Pictures have already been posted here. You can also read Jonathan's race recap here.

What I Could Have Been

It's been a tough day at work today so for my last 30 minutes I am going to reminisce about what it is I would liked to have done with my life other than construction. Usually during these brain storming sessions I think completely irrationally and come up with occupations that don't even really exist and usually involve me doing nothing at all but getting paid for it like Couch Cushion Comfortability Technician or Ergonomic Recliner Engineer. But today I had an occupation dropped in my lap that I had never thought of and that would be to become an evil overlord. I have been thinking of this because of this list that I found of the the 100 things to do in order to be a successful overlord. My favorites out of the list so far are:

8. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three week's time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.

31. All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcements and/or romantic sub-plot for the hero or his side-kick.

52. I will hire a team of board certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.

67. No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full scale emergency.

81. If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizically turning around to find out what he saw.

There are many more good tips on the list for your perusal. But who am I kidding I'm nearly 30 years old, it's too late for me to make a change in occupation like that and now with this list out there for the masses I'm sure that the market will be flooded soon.

Operation: Rob The Jar

Finding Girl Scouts selling cookies is kind of like seeing a celebrity. You know that they're out there, when you see them you get all excited and have to tell everyone you know what you saw. I'm not sure why, but a I have the hardest time finding Girl Scouts selling cookies each spring. It's not as if the cookies are hot and have to be sold on the black market or dark alleyways in neighborhoods that you wouldn't venture into even with a full arsenal. They're cookies that people love! You should see a Girl Scout peddling them on every street corner. I've even noticed, on the rare occasion that I find them, that they have even stopped posting prices. A Girl Scout knows that if she sees someone walking her way that person is making a purchase no matter what the price. That's even power Sam Walton doesn't weld.

This year, luckily, I have the hook up. Kati works with someone that has a daughter in this secret society and apparently all I have to do to get my coveted Samoas is leave a briefcase of unmarked, non-sequential bills on the picnic table at Rockledge Park at midnight and when I return in the morning, there will be my cookies. I was also instructed not involve the police or try any funny business.

But I'm done being their pawn.

The recipes for these scrumptious morsels are kept under lock and key but I have been working with the dregs of society to penetrate their fortress and release to the world what is rightfully ours. We have made many attempts and lost many good men along the way but their loss is your gain for today I give to you the recipes for Samoas, Thin Mints, Do Si Dos, Tagalongs and Shortbreads. Unfortunately our plan was thwarted before we could fully decode the recipe for Dulce de Leche, the only word that we could make out was "milk" and we already knew that one going in.

So take this prize and treat it well. Know that many a men were lost so that you could break the binds of tyranny. And may these "girls" know that their heavy handed ruling is at an end.

The Good The Bad and The...Oh Get On With It

I watched The Good The Bad and The Ugly last night for the first time. It comes in at a lengthy 161 minutes and most of that is wasted reel. I'm not saying that it wasn't a decent movie or that it should be taken out of the "classics" category, just that there's no dialogue for the first ten minutes and there are way too many times where all you get is dramatic music with close ups on eyes, then a gun, then back to someones eyes, then another gun, then a wide shot. It got ridiculous and tedious. I probably skipped over a good 20 minutes of film just of these dramatic moments.

It's probably a movie that everyone should see once just so that you can say you have but keep the remote close at hand because you're going to need it.

Are You Kidding Me?

This is probably some of the coolest stuff that I have ever seen.
Great soundtrack too. That's Band of Horses - The Funeral, if anyone is interested.